Letter to McDowell County

Oct 18, 2014
7 min read

Dear McDowell,

Wow, there was so much more that I wanted to say in my story of Eleck's legacy, but I had to make sure that the focus of that piece was on remembering Eleck, & nothing else. So I held a lot back, & told myself, there's always other pieces to write.

I've received countless DMs asking who am I? How did I find you? Where did I come from?

So.. a little background on me:

My name is Kay, known in the dance world as "misskwilss." I just recently turned 22 on September 23rd, kicking off Libra season (shoutout to all the Libras!) & the start of Fall :) I may not look like much, & I definitely am aware of the stereotypes I fall under at first glance. HOWEVER, there's always more to a person than first impressions, & definitely more than just looks & a pretty face. I am a veteran, retired from the United States Navy. Retired? Yes, you read right. How am I retired? That's another story for another piece, on another day. I currently live in San Diego, California. I am constantly told I look like a "typical Cali girl," but side note, I was born & raised in a small town called Muncie, Indiana. I don't claim Indiana though, I never did & I never will - also another story for another day. California is where I belong, Cali is home, so shoutout to everyone in SoCal. I am a full-time student at University of Phoenix, studying for my Bachelor's in Business Management & Entrepreneurship. I also run my own business on the side, working in the Network Marketing industry. I was an IT (Information Systems Technician) in the Navy. So, you could say I have many interests & my work ethic runs across the board.

Why McDowell? Why Eleck? Why me?

Let's just say that I haven't always walked a path with God. I was one of those people that picked & chose what areas of my life I wanted to let God in on. But that's not how it works, is it? He's either in, or He's out. That's what I've learned at least, after sufffering the consequences of my ungodly choices. You can never go back, but you can always go forward. & since February of this year, I've done everything in my power to become a better person, to be on a path with God FULL-TIME, not just part-time. It has been the hardest journey that I have ever encountered, but it has also been the most fulfilling & rewarding. I've lost a lot of friends, people who just don't understand what's "happened" to me, & why I've changed. To them, I'm leaving them behind, I don't care about them anymore...but to me, I'm moving ahead, & they're staying there, not moving their feet to come with me. They chose not to follow me. They chose to stay on their current path. I care so much about them, I cry about the people that I've lost, & not a day goes by that I don't wish my phone would ring, & they'd ask to join my path. That's just life, though. That's life & that's God's plan, & that's part of our trials & tribulations. Not everyone you meet, not every friendship is meant to be permanent. There's a lesson with every experience, & there's a blessing in every lesson.

See, I'm all about silver linings. & one day when you hear my full story, from start to finish, you'll understand. I don't have family, & I don't have parents. I've stood strong on my own. It wasn't until I came across a church last year in San Diego, did I realize how important my story was, how much I could inspire others who have gone through, or are currently going through it, too.

I've wanted to start up a website for a long time, but the timing just never felt right. It was like it wasn't in my heart yet, like it was in my mind. I lost God for a little while last month, & I deactivated my Facebook, didn't respond to any calls or texts, for a total of 3 weeks. The night I launched this website was the night I reactivated my Facebook, & everything became so clear.

On Wednesday night I opened up my bible, & one of the verses I read was 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

This just made me stop & think, why am I waiting? Why am I hiding? Why am I being so scared & holding back? I have a story to tell. I have lives to reach out to. I can't just hold all of this in, & reject what God has set right in front of me. It's time.

I stayed up all night creating the website, launched it early Thursday morning, reactivated my Facebook, made a Facebook page for Love over Lust, & then the Twitter account. I followed a few of my favorite inspiring people, like Joyce Meyer, & just started following people that had favorited some of these inspiring people's tweets. I really have no idea who I followed first from McDowell. I just know that a couple of hours later, I was seeing #Lecrae4Eleck on my timeline. Me being a HUGE fan of Lecrae (totally preordered his latest album on my Iphone), this caught my attention. Once I saw multiple people tweeting it, I was just thinking okay who are all these Lecrae fans & who or what is Eleck, not having a single clue what was going on. So, I started looking through everyone's tweets, following more McDowell people, & saw enough tweets to finally piece together what was going on. Then I found Eleck's Twitter, & reading his tweets just completely melted my heart. I reached out to one girl, asking if I could know more, & if it would be okay for me to write about this. I had been trying to decide all day what story to use, to sort of lay the foundation for my new site. I have a ton of inspiring friends who are working on sending me their stories, but what happened to Eleck was just seriously pulling on me, I don't even know how to describe it. I just said God, this is why it was time, wasn't it? This is what I'm supposed to do. It just FELT right.

This first girl didn't respond to me. So, I tried another girl, Shania. She was SO quick to respond & say yes, it made my heart jump. I really was looking for that green light to do it. I didn't want to overstep my boundaries & write about someone I didn't even know, putting myself in a situation that really wasn't my place to be, without getting permission. That was all I needed, & I took off with it from there.

A few hours later, & everyone was jumping on board, tweeting me & DMing me their stories. The thank you messages & tweets were what really got me. While you all have been thanking me, I'm just sitting over here asking why am I being thanked? I WANT to do this, it's seriously no big deal! But I'm realizing now that it meant a lot to you guys that a stranger across the country took notice, took an interest, & took initiative to help. I get it now. If the roles were reversed, I would be just as thankful.

I need you guys to realize something though, it's ME who's thanking YOU. YOU guys did this for me. YOU guys gave me a story, an AMAZING one, at that. YOU guys showed me that I CAN make an impact, that people's lowkey stories DO matter, it CAN make a difference, even if just in one person's life. YOU all have inspired me to officially share my story, my struggles, my survival - my silver lining.

I am so grateful for all of you, you just can't imagine. & THAT is why I will be emailing your school first thing Monday, & seeing what I need to do to make meeting all of you happen. I am all booked up on my schedule through January, but after that is open territory.

I've done a lot of motivational speaking for my business teams, at business professional events, but I've been searching for schools & students to reach out to for the longest time. Because if I would've had someone take an interest to help out, to reach out, to me when I was in high school, my life would've turned out so different. But then again, I really wouldn't have my life any other way. Everything happens for a reason. & it is one of my main goals right now to fly to Charlotte, & make my way to Marion.

I want to come & share my story with you. I want to meet & speak to every one of you as a whole, & individually. I don't care how many days I have to be in North Carolina to make that happen. You guys will forever be the people who got me started, who made me jump, & take that leap of faith. & I think because of you all, this is going to lead to so many more amazing things, & allow me to reach out to so many more people.

All that I ask of you, is to stay following myself & my site. Send me topics you want me to write about. Help me to inspire you, as well as others. Reach out to me, because I'm here with open arms. This is what I'm supposed to do, this is what I was meant for. I'm going to live like Eleck, thanks to you.

& one more thing - head up & heart strong. Where you come from, does not have to define where you end up. Always think with your head, not your emotions. & always choose love over lust.

THANK YOU!!! You all are my blessing.

Love, Kay