Sexy isn't a Compliment

Feb 13, 2015
3 min read

For all you beautiful, admirable females out there - how many times do you get hit on a day? Maybe it's when you're grocery shopping, or walking your dog, or just getting your morning coffee (or in my case, my morning OJ).

It doesn't just happen on a night out, downtown, when you're dressed your best. It literally happens EVERYWHERE, in the most inconvenient places, at the most inconvenient times. & the worst part? 9 times out of 10, it's the poorest excuse of a pick up line you've ever heard in your life. You know, those ones that make you cringe, with this dumbfounded look on your face, like "did you seriously just say that out loud, to me, & you were serious..?"

Yep. You all know.

A few months ago, I was standing outside of base here in San Diego, waiting for someone to pick me up. I emphasize on the part where I said I was standing outside of a military installation, like directly outside of the gate, because the person picking me up was a civilian without base access. So I'm standing there, & this guy pulls up, gets out of this truck, & says, "Hey!" Naturally, I don't even look up, & continue to scroll through Facebook on my iPhone. He says, "Hey girl!" I look up. "I know you probably here this ALL the time... but you sexy as hell!!"

I just want to pause & take a moment of silence for all the men, actually boys, who think sexy is a compliment.

Now that that's done - I gave him what must have been a pretty disgusted look, & he proceeds to say, "Yep, by that look on your face, you definitely get that a lot." I said, "Uh huh, bye."

I want to pause & take another moment of silence for the BOYS who refer to us females as a "b*tch" for acting that way when we receive what they swear up & down is some sort of "compliment."

I do not know when or where they got this idea. & it's a universal thing. It's global. I've had all races, ethnicities, & ages speak these "compliments" to me. It is not cute.

Ladies, if a guy approaches you with anything, & I mean ANYTHING, other than a "Hi, my name is ____, what's your name?" - boy bye.

Let me put it into a different perspective for you.

When I'm out in downtown San Diego, dancing, having a good time, & a guy approaches me & asks me to dance, what do you think I say? That's easy, no.

If you're going to approach me & not say hello, ask me my name, ask how I am, or SOMETHING of the sort, you've already been cut in my book. Why? Because you asking me to dance, or telling me you "saw me from across the room & just couldn't keep your eyes off of me" - what you're really saying is you have a nice body & that's what caught my attention, & I don't care about your name, I just want to dance & put my hands on you.

& that's the ugly truth. I do not care how you try to spin it - that is the reality of the situation. & it's not cute.

Females need to stop letting guys walk on them or make them feel guilty for not wanting to be spoken to a certain way. Men do what we allow them to, period. So if you like being approached with "you're sexy" - by all means, I'm not judging; but from personal experience, if you're a woman with some class & self-respect, you'll refuse to settle with that.

Sexy isn't a compliment - it's a statement full of lust, & that's how I weed out the weak.

- Kay